Picture this. In a tiny village in some backwards, rural patch of Pakistan, a village imam who enjoys an occasional romantic rendezvouz with a camel gathers his congregation to burn a Christian bible. Meanwhile, in an even more out-of-the-way goat farm in Saudi Arabia, an otherwise upstanding citizen somehow gets a copy of a Jewish Torah past custom officials so he can torch the thing in front of his mosque.

In France, a Catholic priest in the tiny hamlet of Moutier-Malcard who had a disagreeable meal of Indian curry decides to burn a Hindu prayer book. And for no reason at all, a moonshine-plastered priest in Yellowknife who got ordained online to the Church of the Moose, congregation eleven, immolates a collection of the sayings of Confucius.

The likely result? Absolutely nothing. Zero media attention. No chance of an international incident. Certainly no chance that anyone will die. Possibly, one of these religious yahoos and their dopey congregation will suffer mild burns from getting too close to the flaming tome. That's about it.

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